Today

I shed a few tears today. It started with Odie, who told me he didn't want a goodnight kiss but then as soon as I walked away he changed his mind. That part was fine, he does it all the time--tries to get away with things and then changes his mind when he sees it doesn't work. But later, when I went to check on him after he was asleep and he was snug as a bug wrapped in his blankie in only his pull-up, it was too sweet for words. And I thought about him coming into my bed a couple mornings ago, with blanket lines on his face and his little morning breath, "I had a dream that reminded me of school shopping" he said. I laughed, because he's 3. What does he possibly know about school shopping? Then we snuggled.

I shed a tear for my Abby girl, who has been getting herself out of bed long before I'm awake to help Uncle Marvin in the garden all week long, and had such a cheerful wave for me as she sat between her grandpa and great uncle in the pick up truck on the way home from the farmer's market today. What 14 year old does that? She amazes me, that girl. Always has, and I think she always will.

I shed one for Willie, who had a birthday party to go to on this, the last day of summer. I walked down to pick him up and he grinned at me. He barely turned his head to tell his friend goodbye, he is SO shy. We walked away holding hands. He likes for our fingers to be intertwined when we hold hands.

I shed one for Phoebe, who in one week will become Annie, and perform on stage for hundreds of people. Phoebe, my girl who would cry and cry when it was time for preschool or dance or even playdates, she was so scared to leave my side. Now she is doing something I would never dare do. She is so brave, and so amazingly talented.

And I shed one for Lucy, because she starts kindergarten on monday and it's killing me. That little sassafrass has been by my side for YEARS...and I know it's just for a few hours each day, but it is killing me, 'cause I know just how much she is going to grow and change. Mostly I keep thinking of how we used to cuddle on my bed every wednesday afternoon last school year and have a "rest"...she has always loved to cuddle me, and on wednesdays after my dinner for dinner group was ready to go and I got Odie down for his nap, we would snuggle up and read a book or two and sleep the afternoon away. Okay, maybe I shed 2 tears for that...

I hate to see summer end. I really, really do. Tonight we grilled pizzas and sat outside until dark, all the kids chattering and singing and tumbling and dancing and climbing and swinging all at once until we were good and ready to put them to bed, and then we did, and now summer is over, just like that. And I'm already missing it...